By Sagashus Levingston | Photo courtesy Sagashus Levingston
Listen. I didn’t set out to decode the systems of real estate and finance — I just needed a home. But in trying to buy a home, I found myself caught in something way deeper — something that had nothing to do with numbers, and everything to do with power, shame and silence. This is especially true for Black women, single mothers, trauma survivors and women who’ve lived with poverty.
I’m the founder of Infamous Mothers — a lifestyle brand and movement built for women who live boldly and love fiercely, even when the world calls them too much, too little or not enough. We publish books, teach, retreat, write and tour. At the center of it all is one truth: Our stories are sacred.
This past summer, I brought that truth home to Madison to kick off the Without Apology tour. At the center of it is my debut memoir, “A Pot to P*ss In.” But make no mistake — this tour isn’t just about book sales. It is about reminding women what they’re made of. We held space for truths about motherhood and money. Trauma and sex. Leadership and loss. And, yes — about the audacity of wanting a home when everything about your past says you’re too risky to deserve one.
The stories I shared on tour came from “A Pot to P*ss In” — a memoir that’s also a mirror. It unpacked what it means to navigate finances while carrying the weight of family, dreams and systemic barriers. In chapters like “Felons Can’t Rent,” “Naked,” and “Net Worth,” I talked about my experience fighting for housing while loving a man the system rejected, being seen as a financial liability and carrying unspoken shame. I poured into the pages the life I envisioned until those words became a binding contract with the universe. Then, I began to live them — scaling my business, reclaiming my health and pursuing a home. Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: Financial shame isn’t just about credit card debt or budgeting mistakes. It’s about the fear and silence we carry — the way many of us have been taught to shrink around money, to believe that we are not meant to build wealth or own anything at all.
Here’s What I want Other Women to Know:
Build relationships, not just credit. The smartest move I ever made when house-hunting wasn’t financial — it was personal. I kept showing up, not just as a loan applicant, but as a human. I let my banker see my story, not just my financials. And that made all the difference.
Your story is a strategy.
I wrote a letter to a home seller expressing my interest in their property that shifted everything. It wasn’t polished. It was real. We’ve got to stop hiding our truth — because sometimes, that’s the very thing that opens the door.
Financial healing is emotional work.
Before I could buy that house, I had to deal with the voices in my head telling me I wasn’t worthy of owning a house. That I was asking for too much. Healing meant letting go of the shame and saying, “Actually, I deserve this.”
Buying a home wasn’t just a transaction. It was a transformation. And for women like us — bold, brilliant and building without apology — it was a declaration that we deserve not just a place to live, but a place to exhale.
