By Tami Schiltz, RD
I used to joke that I pursued degrees in exercise and sport science and nutrition to “fix” myself. Even after earning my degrees, I learned that knowledge doesn’t always translate into empowerment because whenever I faced triggers, like not feeling good enough or valued, I found myself in a cycle of emotional binge eating, followed by exercise as a form of punishment.
When I became a health and healing coach and registered dietitian, I pinpointed this self-sabotaging pattern within myself and so many of my clients. They were highly successful in their careers, but still struggled with self-care. That’s when I was drawn to inner child work. It was through this journey that I met my inner child, Lil’ Tam Tam, who told me how much she was still hurting and needing to heal.
My business, Unscripted Healing, facilitates healing our relationships with ourselves, our bodies, food, exercise, family, friends and co-workers. In my inner child work, I guide clients in identifying how childhood wounds resurface and influence them into adulthood, in what often looks and feels like self-sabotage.
For example, as a registered dietitian, I would give clients the tools to build a healthy meal plan. Often, they’d follow the plan for a while, then fall back into old eating patterns and get frustrated. I realized: people know how to eat healthy — but something else was holding them back — and it was usually much deeper than food.
Our fear of failure can disrupt our health or career goals before giving ourselves a real chance to accomplish them. People-pleasing is another harmful habit because we abandon our own boundaries, goals and dreams out of the need to be liked or feel needed. As a result, our bodies communicate these suppressed emotions and trauma through symptoms like pain, tension, stress, anxiety, weight gain, autoimmune and digestive issues.
So, I tell clients: listen to your body, and be curious. Physical symptoms and negative self-talk are clues. Our bodies communicate suppressed emotions and trauma through symptoms. When it comes to negative self-talk, our egos often criticize us to protect us from the judgment of others, and we become our own bully. Imagine your inner child standing in front of you next time you criticize yourself: Would you say those things to her?
I’ve embraced my inner child by remembering what I loved when I was younger and being intentional about creating experiences that let her out to play, whether that’s on my paddleboard, hiking, being silly with my kids or dancing in the grocery store! I let her personality shine through loud laughs, never acting my age and allowing myself to be seen for exactly who I am. I no longer water myself down out of fear that I am “too much” for some people.
