By Laura Anne Bird, Rebecka Crandall, Nikki Kallio, Betsy Korbinyr, Michelle Kullmann, Hannah Wente and Katie Vaughn
A Greener Goodbye
Having a special place to go to and remember a loved one can bring families comfort in times of loss, but a conventional cemetery burial can be pricey — and concerning for those who are environmentally conscious.
The nonprofit Sòlas Natural Burial Preserve between Middleton and Waunakee, certified by the Green Burial Council, offers families the chance to purchase a plot on its 20-acre grounds and bury their loved one in an ecologically friendly way. Natural burial prohibits embalming chemicals, concrete/ vaults and synthetic materials including those used in making traditional caskets, says Anita Lawrence, director of community relations for Sòlas.
Grief Is a Winding Road
In the days after Cade, my 18-year-old son, unexpectedly and tragically died from a fentanyl poisoning almost four years ago, I remember sitting with my other son, Ross, and saying to him, “I don’t know how to do this. There’s no road map for grief.”
There is no manual. No checklist. No well-lit path to follow.
Honoring the Grieving Body
When we lose someone we love, our brains process the grief searching for answers, trying to make sense of things. Our bodies mourn; we weep, refusing to eat, yearning until our hearts feel they’re breaking. Though difficult, these physical reactions are all natural parts of navigating an emotional loss. It’s referred to as the grieving body.
Celebrating Life, Not Loss
Alanna Thiede’s parents worked in hospice and palliative care. This instilled an innate desire in her to help others through the death and grieving process. And, it led her to found Good Mourning with Lydia Scofield and Helen Stewart in 2023.
“The three of us were talking about our experiences with end-of-life celebrations and the lack of them during COVID,” explains Thiede. “We kept coming back to the fact that there’s something missing in what people are able to have for their people.”
Creating Connection Amid Grief
When Meghan Allynn Johnson received the call that her father, who suffered from dementia, was actively dying, she rushed to his side. Although he was unable to talk, Johnson found ways to communicate with and comfort him until he passed.
“The profoundness of that experience completely changed me,” says Johnson, an artist who was running a gallery in New York City at the time. “I was able to hold the grief and the beauty simultaneously.”
Sharp Edges of Sorrow
Chandra Lewis says that her work as a death doula feels “mysterious” to other people, so she is glad to clear up any confusion.
“It’s about being present,” she explains. “Whether helping families navigate birth, miscarriage or terminal illness, I hold space with compassion.”
Seasons of Grief
Grief doesn’t always arrive with funerals and flowers. More often, it lives in life’s transitions, when a version of the future we imagined dissolves into something unrecognizable. It shows up when a relationship ends, when we leave a job we once cared deeply about, or when our health shifts and our body or mind no longer feels familiar. Sometimes, it exists in the quiet overwhelm of witnessing a world in turmoil or feeling powerless in the face of the unknown. These experiences can spark grief, though we don’t always name them as such.
