By Katy Ripp | Photo courtesy Katy Ripp
You’re doing everything “right.”
At work, you’re checking the boxes: leading the meetings, stacking up achievements or even building your own brand.
You’re not alone if you’ve ever looked around your life and wondered why it doesn’t feel as good as it looks on paper. It’s not because you’re ungrateful or lazy or not “hustling” hard enough. It might just be that you’re chasing someone else’s version of success — or living by values that were prescribed to you, not chosen by you.
What Are Values, Really?
Values aren’t just words we slap on a vision board (although I do love a good vision board!). They’re the internal compass that tells us what actually matters. When you ignore your values — because culture, hustle, expectations or corporate dress codes told you to — you start drifting aimlessly. Misalignment starts to grow, and eventually, even your biggest wins may feel hollow.
A Simple Wake-Up Call
For years, I wore heels. Cute ones. Powerful ones. Pointy ones.
I loved how they looked — and how they made me feel — but the truth? They hurt (thank you bunions)! I hated walking in them. My feet were always on fire after events, but I wore them because I thought that’s what success looked like.
Turns out, one of my buried values was comfort, and its sister value, pleasure. So, I swapped the stilettos for fashion sneakers and discovered I felt just as powerful in them. This experience showed me that I could give myself permission to show up differently and still feel good. Now, I build my business around what feels right — and I help my clients do the same.
Three Signs You May Be Out of Alignment
- “Easy” days still leave you totally wiped. That’s a sign, not a character flaw.
- You feel guilty for wanting something slower, softer or more spacious — even though your gut knows it’s what you need.
- You second-guess yourself constantly, like there’s a right answer out there for what will fix things, that you just haven’t figured out yet.
Quick Action: Reconnect With What Matters
Ask yourself: “When do I feel most like myself?”
Jot down a few moments in your life that felt really authentic to who you are. Was it sipping your morning coffee on the porch? Leading a creative brainstorm? Saying no without immediately drafting an apology text? Those little moments are your values whispering, “Hey, over here — pay attention!” These slice-of-life are trying to show you what actually matters.
If this has you nodding along — or wondering what your own values even are — you’re not alone. Want help identifying your values? I created a free Values Discovery Guide to walk you through it. It’s simple, soulful and packed with examples to help you find what actually matters to you.
Once you’ve narrowed down your values, that’s just the beginning. In October’s article, we’ll talk about how to use those values to set boundaries and stop apologizing for wanting something different in your life.
Katy Ripp is a certified coach, business strategist, and podcast host of “#ActuallyICan.”
