By Maura Keller | Photography by Hillary Schave
At 6 a.m., Leslie Taylor’s day begins not with coffee, but with motion, as she wakes her 14-year-old son, makes sure he’s ready for school and squeezes in a few moments of connection before he leaves. Almost immediately, her focus shifts, and within the hour she may be driving across town to pick up her 88-year-old mother for a doctor’s appointment, managing medications, insurance questions or mobility concerns along the way. By midmorning, she has transitioned into her role as a director at UW-Madison, leading her team and navigating complex decisions, only to return home in the evening to resume parenting responsibilities that often include dinner, homework, school events and, at times, another visit to her mother’s senior living community.
“It’s really interesting,” Taylor says. “It’s like that mental switch from being caretaker to executive brain. Like, ‘OK, Leslie, get it together — you’re going to work now.’”
Taylor is part of what’s known as the sandwich generation — adults simultaneously caring for their own children or other family members while supporting aging parents — a demographic that continues to grow as life expectancies increase, parenthood is delayed and family dynamics evolve. For many women in Madison and beyond, this is not simply a temporary phase, but a defining chapter that reshapes daily life and long-term priorities.
“It’s a unique blend of caregiving as it results in emotional, physical and financial support,” says Michelle Godfrey, president and CEO of Attic Angel, a Madison-based nonprofit that offers a full continuum of senior living care, from independent ranch homes to specialized memory care.
For Taylor, that reality became unavoidable when her mother, who had been living independently in Florida, began experiencing mobility issues. Initially, Taylor managed her mother’s care from a distance, but the situation became unsustainable for her, who’s a single parent.
“I’m single parenting. I can’t just leave the state,” she says. “That’s when it really hit me. I thought, ‘How am I going to do this?’”
The strain intensified in 2024 when hurricanes devastated her mother’s home, leading Taylor to relocate her to Wisconsin. Even now, life rarely feels routine; each day requires quick decisions that balance competing priorities.
Different Paths and Shared Pressures
That sense of constant motion and adjustment resonates across the sandwich generation, even for those whose caregiving responsibilities look different. Patt McGee, a former deputy sheriff with the Cook County Sheriff’s Department, does not have children, yet she navigates many of the same demands, traveling regularly from Chicago to Madison to care for her mother.
“I am the middle child out of three and the oldest girl,” McGee says. “I commute to Madison to care for my mother, taking her to every doctor’s appointment and sitting with her during infusion treatments. It can be hectic at times, given the amount of travel and trying to make sure my dog is cared for as well.”
Like many caregivers, McGee did not initially identify with the term “sandwich generation,” noting that these responsibilities often emerge gradually rather than through a single defining moment. McGee’s routine reflects the same kind of logistical juggling seen in Taylor’s life, requiring careful coordination of time, travel and personal obligations.
“It can be hectic as I try to make sure my dog is cared for, and then I hit the road to travel 150 miles to make sure my mom has eaten and makes her appointments,” McGee says, adding that her own health needs can fall to the wayside.
“The biggest challenge is making sure I make my appointments in addition to making sure I take my mom to hers,” she adds.
That tension between caring for others and maintaining one’s own health is a defining characteristic of the sandwich generation experience. Caregiver burnout is real, with 41% of caregivers reporting low overall wellbeing — 32% more than non-caregivers, according to the Caregiver Action Network.
The Emotional and Physical Toll
Over the last decade, the number of family caregivers has increased by 45% — or by 20 million people — to 63 million Americans, according to a report titled “Caregiving in the US 2025,” a joint effort by the American Association for Retired People (AARP) and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC). The majority of these caregivers (59 million) are caring for adults, while 4 million care for children under 18 with an illness or disability. Twenty-nine percent of caregivers fall into the sandwich generation category, simultaneously providing care for children and adults.
The report also states that, “Three in five caregivers are women, and on average, caregivers are 51 years old. Six in 10 are non-Hispanic white, with one in five family caregivers living in rural areas. Many are also managing complex medical tasks that would once have been handled in hospitals by health care providers.”
According to Godfrey, the difficulty of caregiving lies in the competing nature of responsibilities.
“It can feel like you’re pulled in a variety of directions while trying to maintain all of the necessary commitments to family, work and social demands,” she says.
This strain often brings emotional exhaustion and a persistent sense of guilt. Caregivers constantly question whether they are doing enough for their parents, their children or their careers. Yet, there are moments of unexpected connection. For McGee, the reward has been seeing her mother on a different level.
“Mainly, the vulnerability that she has shown,” she says.
Godfrey notes that these intergenerational interactions can foster a greater appreciation for family relationships, offering opportunities to share stories, perspectives and experiences across age groups.
For Taylor, that dynamic carries an added dimension as a parent, shaping how she models empathy and responsibility for her own children.
“I want to model compassion. I want to model doing the right thing,” she says.
“I want my kids to see that our family has each other’s back,” reinforcing the idea that caregiving, while demanding, can also serve as a powerful example of closeness and care.
For McGee, that intensity is compounded by long-distance travel. She relies on a “village” — her nephew in Chicago helps with her dog, and friends in Madison fill gaps when her work schedule conflicts with her mother’s needs.
Godfrey emphasizes that workplace flexibility is also critical. The ability to adjust schedules can determine whether individuals are able to manage their responsibilities or succumb to burnout, which manifests as fatigue and irritability.
However, something often has to give, and frequently, it’s personal time.
Taylor acknowledges this imbalance, recognizing the irony of neglecting her own health while witnessing her mother’s declining mobility.
Godfrey stresses that self-care is essential: “Learning how to care for [yourself ] in a new way is critical and learning to be OK that you may not meet [your] expectations [is key].”
Lessons in Patience and Perspective
For McGee, her caregiving journey has been a master class in patience.
“The biggest lesson I have learned is always to have patience, and then when you’re about to throw it all in, have just a little bit more patience,” she says, a sentiment that informs the advice she offers others entering similar roles. “Have a village around you to help and keep you grounded. Keep a record of the little things, because after your loved one is no longer here, you will want to remember them,” she adds, emphasizing the emotional value of small, everyday moments.
Planning ahead can also help alleviate some of the pressure, particularly when it comes to legal and logistical decisions related to aging parents. Taylor encourages families to address these issues early, noting that it becomes significantly more difficult during a loved one’s personal or health crisis.
“If you can get started super early on [determining your loved one’s] power of attorney and getting all those documents submitted, do it,” she says.
Godfrey reinforces this advice, urging families to have open conversations about expectations and available resources before they are urgently needed, as many caregivers do not seek out support until they are already overwhelmed.
Finding Meaning in the Middle
As the population ages, the demands on the sandwich generation will only grow. Ultimately, it’s less about achieving a perfect balance and more about continual recalibration. It requires resilience, adaptability and a willingness to embrace the meaningful moments that define this complex stage of life.
Despite the exhaustion, many view the role as an extension of love rather than a chore.
“This isn’t a chore or a job,” McGee says. “It’s a pleasure to care for a loved one that’s in need … I honestly think that, if the tables were turned, my mother would do the same for me.”
Taylor shares a similar perspective, holding on to moments of connection that cut through the demands of daily life.
“I’m really enjoying this time with my mom,” she says.
“That I can still crack a joke and she gets it — that matters.”
SENIOR CARE RESOURCES
- Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC) of Dane County: This “one-stop shop” for information on aging, disability and long-term care options helps residents access public benefits and community services. daneadrc.org
- Alzheimer’s & Dementia Alliance of Wisconsin: This alliance offers a vital link to resources, education and support groups specifically designed for individuals living with dementia and their caregivers. alzwisc.org
- Madison Senior Center: This community resource promotes successful aging through a variety of social activities, educational workshops and fitness programs. cityofmadison.com/senior-center
- Attic Angel: This Madison-based nonprofit organization provides a full continuum of senior living care, from independent ranch homes to specialized memory care, while also operating an active volunteer association. atticangel.org
- NewBridge Madison: NewBridge provides older adults with access to affordable resources — such as case management, nutrition programs and home chore assistance — to help them maintain healthy, independent lives. newbridgemadison.org
- Hallmark Home Care: This service matches clients with experienced, professional in-home caregivers. hallmarkhomecare.com
- Catholic Charities of Madison: This organization that operates a licensed adult day center that offers a secure environment for older adults and individuals with disabilities, featuring personalized care plans, specialized memory care and more to support independence and provide caregiver respite. catholiccharitiesofmadison.org/adult-day-center
- RSVP of Dane County: This nonprofit matches adults age 55 and older with meaningful volunteer opportunities — such as driving clients to medical appointments, tutoring and meal delivery — to support seniors, veterans and children across Madison. rsvpdane.org
- SSM Health Meals on Wheels: This program delivers nutritious, medically tailored mid-day meals to homebound seniors in Madison, Middleton and Monona, while also providing a daily safety check. ssmhealth.com/services/health-at-home/meal-delivery-programs-wisconsin#mealsonwheels
BY THE NUMBERS
- 63 million: Number of caregivers in the U.S.
- 45%: Percentage increase of family caregivers over the last decade, which equals 20 million new caregivers.
- 29%: Percentage of caregivers in the sandwich generation category, providing care for both children and adults.
- 3 in 5: Caregivers are women.
- 51: Average age of caregivers.
Courtesy “Caregiving in the US 2025,” a joint effort by the American Association for Retired People (AARP) and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC)
