By Amanda N. Wegner
Despite what society wants us to believe, work-life balance is not 50/50.
“Work-life balance is not about an even split and giving yourself half to one thing and half to another,” says Mary Okon, owner of Mary Okon Coaching. “As women, we wear a lot of hats, so it’s about being present where you are and being able to give your all to what you’re doing in the moment.”
Okon is passionate about helping others achieve balance in their lives. Her work is inspired by her own journey to conquer burnout and achieve work-life balance, which she started in 2019.
“You can make way more impact in the world when you’re taking care of yourself,” explains Okon, a master certified nutrition and life coach.
One of the challenges to finding balance is accounting for your time, specifically, how you actually spend it compared to how you want to spend it. Through noncredit courses at Madison College, Okon helps individuals do this “accounting” with a time spent audit. This tool utilizes the time-as-money concept to determine how you want to spend your hours.
“Would you really want to spend money complaining about work for a half hour when you get home? By thinking of time as money, you’ll gain insights into how you’re spending your time, giving you the opportunity to choose how to spend your time more wisely moving forward.”
Okon also leverages another tool, a work-life balance audit, to help individuals better understand where their time and energy are going and prioritize what matters most.
While having an accounting of your time is a powerful start, the real work begins when you choose to shift the balance. To optimize your success in achieving a balance that works best for you, Okon offers five tips:
1. Small steps lead to lasting change.
“Achieving your goals doesn’t require turning your whole life upside down,” says Okon. “When working towards a goal, taking small steps is way more efficient and effective than trying to make one giant leap.”
2. Practice progress, not perfection.
Give yourself time and grace and adjust as needed. “Not everything’s black and white,” says Okon. “The gray in between is often where the answer lies. If you find yourself stuck in either-or thinking, ask yourself what other options there are. Your answer may surprise you and may even lead to a much more positive result.”
3. Reset as needed.
Okon recommends checking in with yourself throughout the day and resetting as needed. Receive a rude email? Itinerary doesn’t go as planned? A quick mental reset can help reframe your take on the day.
“The real flex is getting yourself back on track,” she says.
4. Make space for the parts of your day.
Have a workday “warmup” and leave time to unwind. For instance, at the end of the workday, close your laptop, take a few deep breaths and close your office door.
“It’s good to have a routine to separate your time between work and home. If [you’re] working at an office, your commute to and from work is a great opportunity to mentally prepare and unwind from work. If [you’re] working at home, leave your office door closed when you aren’t working to keep work tasks confined to working hours,” says Okon.
5. Champion self-care.
“The biggest misconception I see women struggle with when it comes to self-care is thinking that putting themselves last is the best way to care for others,” says Okon. “But being your best for others starts with taking care of yourself, so you can give them the best of you.”
SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE OUT OF BALANCE:
- Feeling like you’re always “pushing through”
- An increase in stress
- Lack of focus or ability to be present; this may show up in the form of checking work emails at events or missing special moments because your mind is elsewhere
- Inadvertently snapping at loved ones
- Lack of sleep or fatigue from staying up worrying about work
- Self-care declines; examples include skipping meals, not taking days off when you’re sick, putting off vacation or increasing your caffeine intake just to make it through the day
