By Hannah Wente | Photo by Maxwell Ferguson / Shuffle Photography
Alanna Thiede’s parents worked in hospice and palliative care. This instilled an innate desire in her to help others through the death and grieving process. And, it led her to found Good Mourning with Lydia Scofield and Helen Stewart in 2023.
“The three of us were talking about our experiences with end-of-life celebrations and the lack of them during COVID,” explains Thiede. “We kept coming back to the fact that there’s something missing in what people are able to have for their people.”
Good Mourning offers celebrations of life, memorials and living funerals tailored to the individual’s or family members’ wishes. Traditionally, a funeral would happen after the person passes, but a living funeral allows an individual to bring others along on the journey of a terminal diagnosis and gives them a sense of community.
Good Mourning offers support for individuals (or their loved ones) in planning these celebrations, and making the gathering feel special and unique to the honoree. It’s akin to a wedding or other soiree, where the person of honor has a key role.
Events have been held in various settings, including a restaurant, community center and a monastery. Thiede says the team actively seeks alternative spots besides funeral parlors.
Services range from day-of event support — communicating with vendors and shepherding family members — to full-blown event planning. Good Mourning’s services are tailored to aid the person planning the event.
Thiede and her team have been pleasantly surprised that people are open to talking about tough topics like grief and loss.
“We bring [grief ] up in a way that is judgment-free, because this is a part of our lives in one way or another,” she says. “We provide the tools to think through what’s meaningful to you. Occasionally, we cry and we have to be OK with it as part of the work. It’s care and intention, above all else.”
Last fall, Good Mourning hosted an end-of-life celebration for a man diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS).
“He knew he wanted to bring his family around,” Thiede explains. “It’s been said at funerals, ‘I wish they could have heard all of these things and see how much people care.’ He could participate, hear the stories, share in the laughter with his kids and wife, and have time for them to be together.”
