By Katy Ripp
Last month, we talked about why you might feel stuck — even when everything looks great on paper. I shared how reconnecting with your values (starting with my sneakers-over-heels epiphany) can be the first step toward alignment.
But naming your values is only the beginning. The magic happens when you start using them to design a life you actually want to live.
Let’s Make Boundaries Cool Again
Boundaries are the ultimate form of self-care. Not the cute, cucumber-mask kind — but the gritty, grown-ass woman kind. They’re not sexy, they’re not sparkly and no one’s giving you a trophy for setting them. But they are how you stop overcommitting, resenting your calendar and stress-eating mini muffins in your car because you agreed to “just one more thing.”
Boundaries are clarity. They communicate, “This matters to me” without needing a 12-slide deck to prove it. When you know what you stand for, boundaries stop feeling mean and start feeling like freedom.
The Guilt Reflex
As a recovering people-pleaser, I felt guilty saying no to anything — extra projects, social invites, even rest. But when I named “autonomy” as a core value, it changed how I made decisions. I stopped asking, “Will they be mad?” and started asking, “Will I be mad at myself if I say yes to this?” That little shift quieted the noise and gave me my power back.
Quick Action: Use One Value as a Filter
Pick one value that really resonates. Now look at your calendar or inbox: what could shift if that value led the way?
If you chose connection, that may translate to fewer multitasking Zooms and more face-to-face coffee chats that actually fill your cup.
If you chose consistency, it might look like moving your body in a way it actually likes for 10 minutes a day — rather than pushing through punishing, hour-long workouts you secretly dread.
If you chose freedom, maybe you start time-blocking your calendar so your days stop running you, and you finally have space to live the life you actually want.
The goal isn’t to do everything differently overnight — it’s to start making choices that feel like you. Because once you know what matters, you can start protecting it — without apology.
Still figuring out what your values are? I created a free Values Discovery Guide to walk you through it.
Next month, we’ll dig into how your values affect your energy and why burnout isn’t about doing too much — but about doing too much of the wrong stuff.
Katy Ripp is a certified coach, business strategist and podcast host of “#ActuallyICan.”
