Seance to Summon Voodoo Gods and “Moment of Whistling”g”

If “Charon” doesn’t carry the Orange Shitgibbon’s soul across the River Styx during the Ides of March, then we’re going to intervene and push the underworld to work a littler harder.

On April 1st at 6 pm, we’ve decided to hold a séance to summon the voodoo gods for a trans-national “poking” ceremony, as well as hold a unified “moment of whistling” to summon the Killer Orcas to Mar-a-lago.

We welcome everyone to make the pilgrimage to our taproom that day, because manifesting joy through fatal pulmonary embolisms works better in person. That being said, we will stream the séance and “moment of whistling” on our socials for those around the world who are depending on us to deliver the goods–and by goods we mean a well-placed stroke of lighting while “He’s” golfing.

If you don’t have your voodoo dolls or whistles yet, now is the time to order. There’s only a month before we have to start joining hands and making guttural noises to reach the world beyond.

By the way, Jen from Utah, the maker of our voodoo dolls, added another design to the mix because we know that “He” isn’t the only one in this administration that we’re hoping trips into a bottomless, abandoned well.

Note, if you buy this new voodoo doll of “Her,” the dog won’t be included. Let’s be real, she can’t be trusted with dogs.